Author's Note

Though the title of this is "The Drunk Badger Chronicles ~ A Collection of Tales", it's not really going to be mainly of a drunk badger. And it is definitely NOT written by a drunk badger-- I'm perfectly sober.

The name just hit me and it seemed like a good name for a collection of silly stories with badgers. From anthropomorphic badgers to the animal itself, there could be anything. From silly shenanigans to a fight off with a European Badger and Honey Badger.

There will be multiple tales. If you have a tale you'd like to be included within the chronicles, send me a Google Docs on my Message Wall or my email (that is listed on my profile. Please remember: the email is NOT for socializing. It is there for those who need to get to me about art/writing/partnerships).

Story Guidelines for submitting

If you want to submit one for The Drunk Badger Chronicles,

Without further ado, let my imagination show you how much of a nut I am!

The Pokémon Go Feud

It was a fine day in my house, all alone n' stuff. Living on my own was fine, I didn't mind. Sometimes I'd have a friend or two visit or... Well, I actually put down my textbooks and notes for once to commit to a relationship.

I guess it would be fitting to put my name down. Oxford, don't forget it.

But everything was fine. I was sitting on the couch during a summer day and looked outside. I could see many children out, and it was great to see. Finally, the youth is getting active and going outside to get a breath of fresh air. I turned the TV on and went to watch whatever. NCIS peaked my interest, so it was settled.

The original was always the best. All the others ones, like Los Angeles or New Orleans, trash. The fact that what happened this season still upsets me. Ugh... I really miss Ziva and now DiNozzo, those seasons were good with them. Just Gibbs and McGee left and new people being added. I don't mind Bishop, but still prefer Ziva.

It was nice to finally settle down and kick my paws up to watch TV. I'm usually found using my free time to study for tests, quizzes, and exams. Seems like I'm wasting my life, but it's worth it. Always an A+, nothing below. When I transferred to a different school to more advanced classes I needed, I was the topic everyone spoke of. Nerdy, many would say. Some said I was hot, and that made me uncomfortable.

And that was when I heard the doorbell ring. I paused the TV and thought it might've been one of my friends. Unlocking the door I opened it only to see no one there. When I heard a voice, I looked down. A brother and sister, holding their phones in their paws. They had such warm smiles, and the sister took the liberty to speak on their behalf.

"Excuse me, sir, my brother and I were just looking around and we found a Pikachu in your backyard. We were wondering if we could go and catch it."

I was staying at my parents house when summer was out for college. They were out that night doing their own things, so it was just me. The backyard had a very pretty and unique garden-- made by my dad. My dad was always there for me when I was a kid, and enjoyed many activities. Mom ran the household and did all the cleaning and cooking. I was wondering what they'd say if I let these kids in the backyard to catch a... Pikachu?

"Hold on one second..."

I quickly darted to the screen door leading to our backyard. When I glanced about, I saw no Pikachu there. When I came back, I had a face of stupidity the kids could easily read. The two little pups giggled. "Do you have the app?"

I raised my brow and only blubbered, "what app?"

"The Pokémon Go app! That's where we found it on! But, can we catch the Pikachu?"

I shrugged and closed the door and led them out back. They were jittering with excitement as we walked back. And to my surprise, their first reaction was the garden. It was so beautiful and kept nicely-- with the account of two murders on bunnies who thought it would be a perfect snacking ground. Thank God my dad has a suppressor on his rifle or he'd have the entire neighborhood panicking.

The little boy took his device and opened the app. I watched intently on what they were doing and listened in on how to play. It seemed very interesting, and in fact, I was zoning out as I downloaded it from the App Store. After getting it set up for download, I returned back to watching.

"Got it!"

The little boy jumped up and down and cheered. They were so excited and all I could do was smile. It was adorable and unusual in earnest. When I phone rumbled and notified me of the app's completion on downloading, I couldn't help but to pull it out and give it a try. The kids thanked me, and asked of my name. I replied with, "Oxford", and then I became a Pikachu. The little boy had decided to name it after me for letting them back here to catch it.

When I checked back on my phone, it asked for my age. July 3rd, 1994. 22 years of age. As I waited forever for it to load, I was greeted with Professor Willow. I went along with everything and was very eager to get into it. Once it was finished, I jumped with joy-- and received a phone call. It was my friend since grade school, Chip. I exited out of the app and answered.

"What do you want?! I'm trying to play Pokémon Go!"

I thought my reaction was quite poor, but my otter friend just laughed. "You're only NOW getting into it? Anyways, not what I called for. Was wonderin' if you wanted to hit the usual joint for dinner-- on me."

I smiled and replied, "sure. I can pay for myself, y'know. Meet you there when?"

"6 o'clock. Though I might be fashionably late!"

I chuckled. Whenever he meant fashionably late, it was always one minute after the time he was supposed to be there. It was sort of his trademark thing, and everyone would get all upset over it, but not me.

"I'll see you there, Chip. See ya."

And we hung up. I went back inside to clean up and get ready to hit our usual joint for dinner when our parents are out. I could already just imagine what I normally get, and feel my taste buds tingling and my mouth watering. I just couldn't wait.