FRIAR FOUND DEAD IN COFFIN, FOWL PLAY IS SUSPECTED
Residents of Redwall Abbey were shocked on Wednesday morning when they discovered that their beloved Friar and friend, Friar Maurice "Obese Maurice" Higgins, was lying dead in a coffin. "Not a single mark was on him," remarked a lifelong friend of his, Abbot Costello. An investigation is currently being undertaken by Skipper Redneck and his otter crew. It should be noted however that Skipper's "investigation" has been mostly kitchen raids and racial slurs toward the Guosim. Father Abbot attempted to send for some help from Salamandastron by Sparra, but Skipper shot it down with a harpoon, under the claim that "th' Abbey is a blasted, crime scene. Nobeast leaves, nobeast gets in." Further information on the investigation will be distributed as it is released.
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